Congratulations! You are considering mediation. Statistics throughout the world convincingly show that mediation has at least an 80% chance of successfully assisting participants in reaching agreement, including situations where the parties are deadlocked. Few other processes have such a high success rate.

So what is mediation and how does it work?

Mediation is a voluntary process in which a third neutral party (the mediator) helps to identify the issues in dispute in order to develop options, consider alternatives and reach an agreement that addresses the parties' needs. The mediator does not act as a decision maker and does not give legal advice. The mediator is the manager of the negotiating process and organizes the discussion of the issues to be resolved.

Once the parties reach agreement, the mediator provides a detailed written summary of those agreements which the parties can then submit to their attorneys for review and approval before signing. This agreement can then be incorporated into any legal documents the attorneys deem necessary. It is important to note that attorney review is not mandatory and some people prefer to sign their agreements without attorney review.

The mediator can turn in the agreement to the court and the Judge will review it and sign it making the document an enforceable court order.

Mediation is used extensively in the following areas:

• Family Mediation
• Work Place Mediation
• Restorative Justice

Benefits of Mediation

1. Alternative to Court: Mediation is an alternative to the court process and is considered a collaborative process rather than an adversarial one.
2. Mutual Agreement: Mediation is a self-empowering process that encourages parties to make decisions and work out their own solutions. Both parties must agree on solutions.
3. Clarifies Areas of Conflict: The mediator listens to both sides equally and helps to limit the conflict and discuss things productively. Mediation promotes recognition of the other party's point of view as well as clarifying one's own thoughts and feelings.
4. Efficient Information Sharing: The parties agree to disclose and share pertinent information and to discuss the information openly in mediation leading to more informed decision making.
5. Future Relationship Between the Parties: Mediation provides long lasting, durable agreements and the best results for relationships that need to continue into the future.
6. Less Costly: In most cases, mediation is less expensive than other professional services.

Mediator Style

There are 3 basic styles that mediators use:

• facilitative
• evaluative
• transformative

or a combination of these.

My mediation style is facilitative and sometimes transformative. It is facilitative in that I will attempt as your mediator to help you overcome communication blockages, identify hidden obstacles and develop options for mutual gain that help the parties think creatively and enable an agreement to be reached. It is transformative in that my goal in some cases will also be to improve the parties' relationship if that relationship is important for the future. My goal in mediation is to help you reach a better understanding of yourselves and each other and the issues in dispute. I want to help you reach agreements that you can feel good about and that feel fair to both parties.

Conflict is an inevitable part of day-to-day life, but we often view it as danger or crisis. The Chinese symbol for crisis has two parts: danger and opportunity. The purpose of engaging in mediation is to turn conflict into opportunity. With the help of an impartial third party or mediator, conflict can be managed and our ability to communicate and negotiate can be enhanced. When persons understand each other and feel understood, a creative energy emerges that enables people in conflict to see new resolutions and problem solve together. The opportunity in mediation is to repair or improve relationships that have been damaged by conflict.